Ineffable
by Thine Own Self
Summary: Adj. Too great to be expressed in words. It's just something they know in their heart. A series of romantical oneshots...The long awaited rewrite of Do You Love Me. Enjoy! R&R!
1. Introduction

**A/N-**

**It's finally a reality- the rewritten oneshot series based on Do You Love Me! I have made sure there's enough chapters completed in advance so that this time it's not going to crash as soon as it begins :P**

**I will be updating weekly on Sundays, hopefully with a few surprise updates here and there… should be quite the adventure!**

**I've decided I'm going to create a game in this story as well :P At the end of each chapter, I will post a tag/"name" hinting at the next couple. IE- Munk and Demeter might be tagged as "Silver and Gold", etc. There's no prize, but hopefully it will give you guys something to look forward to and reading your guesses may just spark a few ideas for me…**

**Read, review, and most importantly- enjoy!**

**The index of this story is listed below, and will be updated as each new shot is published :)**

**Index-**

**1. Run to Me- Misto/Teazer**

**2. More Than We Had- Tugger/Victoria**

**3. Undue Risks- Addie/Jem**

**4. Everything I Never Wanted- Plato/Etcetera**

**5. Lionheart- Cori/Bomba**

**6. A Range of Thoughts- Alonzo/Tantomile**

**7. Simply Complicated- Bustopher/Jenny**

**8. Drunk on Dreams- Mungojerrie/Cassandra**


	2. Run to Me

**A/N- Requested by AlicePonineTeazer. **

Tugger's voice rang out across the junkyard, and the older cats stilled, indulgent smiles on their faces as the young toms and queens lined up, facing one another, at opposite ends of the clearing. The fading sunlight refracted off the scrap- illuminating everyone in the gentle glow of a spring evening.

"We all know the game already- but Munk and his obsession with the rules requires that I explain for the thousandth time." Tugger rolled his golden eyes, giving a good natured smile to the silver tabby sitting atop the TSE1 with Demeter.

"At the start of each round, I will call out 'You're everything I hoped you'd be: you're…fill in the blank.' For the first round the queens will pick a tom who they think has that quality. Next round the toms choose. Each round, if someone isn't picked they're out. Last two standing- a tom and a queen- win."

"I wouldn't have to insist if you just-" Munk was cut off as Tugger raised his voice.

"Yeah ok- let's start!"

Teazer shifted her weight, paw on hip. They'd all been playing the odd little game since they were kittens; but suddenly it felt intimate. Each of them was on the cusp of adulthood- something always meant more now than it ever had before. Especially if it involved the toms. She glanced up to the line across the clearing; eight toms, single file.

Addie with his wide grin, Jerrie with that confident tilt of his head, Tumble's shoulders taunt with excitement. Teazer watched as Pounce looked each queen up and down before turning to laugh at Plato's stoic expression. Misto, who gave her a quick smile. A giggle escaped the orange calico as she rolled her eyes, hoping to disguise the moment of enthusiasm she'd let slip. Alonzo's tail swished back and forth with impatience while Cori focused on the sparks at the end of his paws. She reached the end of the line.

Tugger scrambled to the top of tire, arms spread wide as he called out; "You're everything I hoped you'd be, you're funny."

The queens squealed and ran across the clearing, tails swishing rapidly as the excitement began. The rush of color was disorienting and all Teazer could hear clearly was the tom's laughter, and shouts of encouragement from the older cats. Funny was an easy one; she nudged Addie's shoulder, and he gave a crooked grin as he placed his arm around her waist. She resisted the urge to pull away. Addie was a friend, but she couldn't force herself to see him in this new light. Mungo, Cori, Misto, Pounce, Alonzo, and Tumble had also managed to survive the round. Applause went around the scene as Plato gave a gracious bow to his defeat, before leaning against the pipe to watch with everyone else. Teazer saw Victoria glance at the disqualified tom even as she clung to Misto's arm… a stab of jealousy and anger hit the calico queen, as they walked back to their side.

Tugger's voice rang out again, "You're everything I'd hoped you'd be… you're easy to talk to."

This time the toms raced across the clearing- some of them with such speed that many of the queens braced for a collision. Unsurprised to find Mungojerrie at her side, Teazer glanced up the line again.

Tumble and Vic.

Misto and Jem.

Alonzo and Cass.

Cori and Tanto.

And Addie and Pounce stood on either side of Etcetera, leaving Electra to join Plato on the sidelines. She lifted herself onto the pipe giving a short shrug to the assembly. Demeter laughed, leaning into her mate's shoulder before calling out to the young queen.

"I was always the first queen out too, Electra! Sometimes the tom you're looking for is on the sidelines as well."

Plato ducked his head, a self-conscious smile playing across his face as Electra nudged his shoulder.

Teazer giggled at her friend's antics, giving her an ecstatic thumbs-up as everyone else was distracted. The calico queen turned her brown eyes back to the toms now lined up again. She watched from the corner of her eye as Tugger opened his mouth, about to call the next round. Jenny, however, beat him to it; "You're everything I'd hoped you'd be- you're kind!" Without another word, the Gumbie Cat wrapped her tail around Skimbleshanks', effectively distracting him from his pocket watch. Tugger rolled his eyes, shouting after her "Yeah, okay, let's go with that."

Teazer and the other queens began to run. Most of them didn't make it across, as they dissolved into fits of laughter when Mungo raised his paws in surrender, stepping away.

"Sorry, ladies. Kindness ain' one o' my virtues." Most everyone nodded, and the queens gave a round of applause as Jerrie sauntered to the TSE1. Teazer, though, held back a sigh. That round had been easy- one she didn't have to think about or guess at. Perhaps it would be the only moment she hadn't had to read too much into the game… and they had virtually skipped the round. Unable to let it go entirely, she glanced back at the toms, eyes sweeping to the end of the line. Misto held her gaze. And maybe she imagined it, but she could almost see the magic spark to life in his eyes.

"Tom's turn, right?" Tugger cleared his throat and the game began again.

"You're everything I'd hoped you'd be. You're confident." A few of the toms looked at Tugger with raised eyebrows.

The older tom placed his paws on his hips. "Trust me- this is gonna work out much better for everyone if I objectify you instead of the girls." He gestured over his shoulder. "You all forget; Bomba is not only the jealous type, but could easily kill me if she decides I'm encouraging any of you to be jerks." Bomba nodded at the toms with a look that clearly stated she would personally give them hell if any queen left the game upset.

"So play nice."

No one stood alone that round.

Grinning, Tugger lowered his voice, everyone hushing to hear.

"You're everything I'd hoped you'd be…" he wrapped an arm around Bomba's waist, pulling her to him until their noses touched. The younger cats groaned. "You're sexy."

Despite the hot blush in her cheeks Teazer ran, leading the race. She threw an arm over Alonzo's shoulder, as Cassandra gave her a once over, with mild disdain. Then again, the dark queen was more than likely to take Teazer's presence as a compliment to her taste instead of a competition.

Vic and Addie.

Cettie and Cori.

Jemima and Tumble.

Teazer with Alonzo and Cassandra.

Tanto and Misto.

Pounce gave a huff, and crossed his arms.

Cettie caved first, followed by Jemima; one stood on either side of the disqualified tom, leaning in and kissing his cheeks. He nodded, accepting defeat graciously after that.

Teazer unwound herself from Alonzo's side, brushing down the fur on her arms. If she was lucky she could brush away the sensation of Alonzo's paws too tight on her skin.

Tugger glanced over the remaining cats, before nodding.

"Toms choice… You're everything I'd hoped you'd be; you're adventurous."

The line rushed forward, pairing off with blinding speed.

Teazer opened her eyes as the sound died down, unable to keep the sigh of disappointment from escaping her mouth. She didn't have to glance to the side to know that no one stood beside her- she could simply feel the empty air.

She took a half-step forward. A gentle paw on her shoulder kept her from going farther than that.

"Look again."

Her breath caught in her throat, reevaluating the pairs around her. She couldn't bring herself to look at the tom behind her just yet.

Admetus stood with Cettie perched atop his shoulders, both of them with unbalanced smiles.

Tumble sat before Victoria, his head leaning against her knees.

Cori held out his arm shyly, Jemima avoiding his gaze as she linked paws with him.

Most surprisingly of all, Alonzo stood shoulder to shoulder with Tantomile- an easy camaraderie between them.

Cassandra had already draped herself across the tire with graceful boredom.

Which left Mistoffolees.

His slender claws barely touched the stripes on her neck, but she felt the electricity against her pulse point. She turned her head, surprised to realize she had to look up to see his face. He rolled his eyes with a smile.

"You really thought you wouldn't be picked for a trait like 'adventurous'?"

She gave a shrug, muttering under her breath.

"Not exactly. Oi jus' wasn't expectin' you to be the one to pick me."

He withdrew his paw, and she winced, suddenly aware of how her words must sound. Too late to take them back… unable to think of any other way to retract the unintentional insult she stepped back, leaning into his chest. The round was over, and the toms began to retreat to their own side. Teazer stared hard at the floor, whispering as Misto passed her.

"Oi didn' mean it loike that."

Tugger began the familiar phrase, but a deeper, dramatic tone finished it.

"You're understanding." Gus the Theater Cat stood, holding shaking arms wide in a grand gesture of invitation.

Jelly smiled, taking her mate's paw. He kissed her reverently and the pace of the game slowed. The queens did not race to the toms' sides. The five of them looked the line up and down, locking eyes with one of the toms, and walking to them with measured steps.

Many of the older cats watched with hushed anticipation, the whispers and surprised gasps stifled into background noise.

Tantomile didn't choose Cori but leant her forehead against Addie's with a secret smile.

Cettie stood with Tumble.

Alonzo took Jemima's paw with a look that dared anyone to challenge them.

Teazer was the last to choose. She placed a paw against Misto's arm, refusing to meet his gaze and keeping her back to the rest of the world. For a moment, she could feel his breath ruffle the fur by her ears before his attention was drawn back to other side of the clearing.

Unable to resist the curiosity, Teazer turned as well.

Cori stood at the center of the Junkyard, head held high. Victoria stood, still frozen across from everyone else.

Teazer's brow furrowed; what was keeping her there? It was simple wasn't it? Choose Cori, or someone else… weren't those the only choices? The calico queen felt Misto tense beneath her paw. Sneaking a glance at his face she saw the same confusion in his eyes as was surely written across her face.

Did Misto want Victoria to choose him? That must be it…

Until the white queen deliberately held out a paw to the tom that was alone.

Then it dawned on Teazer- she couldn't honestly choose Cori… but it appeared that Victoria would not leave him alone either. Teazer waited with everyone else for them to separate and take a place among their friends and family. Only they didn't. Still paw in paw, they walked to the worn out old oven. The silence lengthened. Cori lifted Victoria onto the rusted metal, leaping up behind her. Neither uttered a word, but nodded for the game to continue. Teazer whistled softly. Misto twitched at the sound, bowing his head to stare at her.

"If that ain't understanding, Oi don' think any o' us know what is."

The spark in his eyes brightened again, his arms wrapping around Teazer's waist before lightly pushing her towards the other side of the yard.

The light had faded long ago, and the amethyst shadows lent a severity to the game that the orange glow of sunset had not. It felt like a test now, instead of a lighthearted distraction. Before Tugger said those fateful words, Addie shook his head.

"I've decided to give my competitors a chance at winning," he laughed, "so I shall bid you all goodnight and good luck." He retreated to the edge of the clearing with a tired grin.

"Three toms left: Tumble, Alonzo, and Mistoffolees. Four queens left: Teazer, Cettie, Jem, and Tanto." Tugger breathed in deeply.

"Anyone have suggestions?"

A chorus of voices chimed in with opinions.

But Misto's voice rose over the rest; Teazer was distracted for a moment by how much his voice had deepened in the last year.

"I think the game's over Tugger… the moon's about to rise anyway."

Many nodded in agreement, and the clearing became crowded with movement; couples and families curled together, murmuring about the starlight and enjoying such a beautiful night.

Although her brother beckoned her over, Teazer clambered onto the fence at the edge of the yard, tail swishing against the splintering wood.

The cool air made her fur stand on end, but there was nothing as calming as the soft rush of wind around her. The fence creaked beneath a new weight; she closed her eyes as the electricity sparked against her paw.

"Is that one o' your tricks?"

He chuckled, the sound as intoxicating as the magic on her skin.

"Maybe… although magic only works if you want it to, you know."

They sat in content silence for what seemed like forever, until the brilliant silver moon rose above the TSE1.

Deuteronomy's voice echoed through the still air, and Teazer watched as he blew a kiss towards the shimmering sky.

"You were everything I'd hoped you'd be… You were beautiful."

Misto leaned towards Teazer, placing his paw over hers.

"Well now… looks like we're the only two left then…"

She nodded, her lips a breath away from the magical tom's.

"S'pose so. And you're everything Oi'd hoped you'd be."

He stopped her words with a kiss, mumbling "You're perfect."

**A/N Have fun! The next couple is "Pale Curiosity". **


	3. More Than We Had

**A/N- enjoy :P Requested by UniqaChica :) Congrats to ForeverWishing for guessing correctly!**

"Don't go!" Her voice broke, and Victoria pulled as far away from Admetus as she could manage. His paws were wrapped tightly around her waist, her forearm braced against his chest, and she was distracted for a single moment, realizing she felt absolutely nothing about the tom pressed to her side.

"You can't leave me!" The tears were now streaming down her face, as Addie pulled her behind him, effectively blocking her from the other tom's sight.

"He doesn't have a choice." The growl in Addie's voice was clear, echoing in the dim light.

Her breath caught in her throat as Tugger took a step towards them.

"You have to listen- let me explain..."

He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, and moved forward another step.

Admetus laughed angrily, "I'm done with excuses and lies. Get out. Now!"

Tugger's voice was pleading now, "Come on- please. We were friends once..."

The statement seemed only to enrage the tawny cat more; he leapt away from the distraught queen, his claws extended and slashing.

The two toms were mere inches away from each other before a deafening cough echoed around them. All movement ceased immediately, and Victoria stepped forward to join the toms. She dabbed absently at her eyes, checking for the twentieth time that her makeup hadn't run as they waited. She'd been crying for hours now- it was quite inconvenient considering she would only be at the theater even longer for touch-ups between runs… which, put simply, meant more time around Tugger. A grimace escaped from her careful mask at the thought.

Gus sighed, leaning forward in his seat, the dark red velvet creasing beneath his claws. A smile flashed on his face before he gestured to Addie with a shaking paw.

"I have no further directions for you, Admetus. At least not today. If you'd be so kind, however, I would like to speak with Tugger and Victoria for a moment."

Giving a nod of agreement, Addie walked off the stage, his shoulders relaxing the slightest bit.

Tugger on the other hand, rolled his eyes, arms crossed.

"What on earth is it now?!" His voice reverberated around the empty audience with an arrogance that grated on Victoria's nerves. They were hours away from the opening of Gus' play to the Tribe, and somehow he was still displeased with their performances. The white queen sat at the edge of the stage, waiting patiently as the Theater Cat rose, hobbling closer to give them direction in the only way he knew how; example.

The rasp in his voice was diminished the nearer he got, but the words took on the harshness that was thankfully not mirrored in his tone.

"I feel nothing from you; either of. Nothing at all."

Tugger bit his tongue to keep from shouting, sitting with his knees to his chest in the hopes of containing his frustration. "It's not so easy to fake being in love."

Victoria glanced at him, a snide remark about it being near impossible to love Tugger whether he was acting as someone else or not, but she was cut off, the words she heard a strange amalgam of Tugger's opinion and her own thoughts.

"You're right- faking love isn't only difficult, I could damn well say it's impossible."

Victoria's laughter was shrill. "Then what do you suggest?"

"The best actors draw on experience. I'm done asking the two of you to like each other; it's not enough anymore." The old tom ran a paw through the fur above his ears, the watery blue eyes stern and determined. "You best figure out a way to fall in love with some small aspect of each other in the next two hours; and I shall expect you to perform the final scene with all the emotion the theater demands."

He said no other words, but sauntered off the stage, leaving the two of them sitting across from one another in stunned silence.

She stared at the Rum Tum Tugger with a cool defiance; she would not be the first to address the issue. He repressed the laugh rising in the back of his throat and stood.

"The sooner we figure this out- the sooner it's over."

Her glare wavered, and finally collapsed as she crossed to sit next to him. "Fine." She brushed sawdust from the pure white fur at her wrists, beginning the conversation with the only thing she knew they had in common.

"So- I'm Griddlebone, you're Growltiger, and Addie is Ghengis. You and I are in love, but Admetus wants me all for himself… simple. So why doesn't that come across onstage?" She didn't dare look at him- there was too much to accomplish still, and fighting with him would only make it all worse.

Tugger smirked, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of her face. "I could tell you why… but I doubt you'd believe me." He brushed some of the orange makeup from his face, turning it back to the burnished gold that was so recognizable. Victoria leant back, her eyes closed but her attention undivided.

Any queen would fall for Tugger's looks- and though his attitude left much to be desired, Victoria couldn't deny he was handsome. His voice, however, was practically hypnotic.

"I suppose," she muttered, "it's best if you tell me- I'd rather not have notes to work on tonight of all nights, Tugger."

"It's not simple."

Her brows furrowed at his words, and she shook her head. "I don't-"

"This story isn't just about Growltiger and Griddlebone being in love. It's a story that shows their love through their passion, struggles, desire, and irrationality to the world around them- there is no precise formula or equation to it, and it will never be orderly or controlled. The whole point is that it isn't. But I'm afraid that kind of chaos isn't in your nature, Victoria."

His paws were still; his speech seemed substantial even in the fact that he was not theatrical about saying it, lending him an honesty and credibility she didn't know he ever had.

Criticism wasn't something she suffered well, but her curiosity won out, and she nodded. "Alright; I can see your point. But if, like you say, that type of insanity isn't in me, what do we do?"

A slow smile crept to Tugger's face, canine teeth bared. "I didn't say you don't have it- only that it isn't your nature to show it… there are ways to change that."

Her sapphire eyes rolled skyward. "And they are…?"

"Just remember: you asked."

There was no time to react, wonder what he meant, or even blink. His paws dug into her waist, dragging her to his chest. His mouth crashed against hers. His tail wound about their legs, twisting them closer together even as she tried to pull away. Struggling for breath, Victoria managed to free her arms. She gasped as he broke away hissing.

"You scratched me!"

The adrenaline in her veins was overwhelming- her heartbeat was loud in her ears and looking down she noticed blood on her claws. Tugger's statement rang with shock. Slowly, the rush faded.

"What in the Fells did you expect me to do? You could have warned me." She pressed a paw to the bridge of her nose. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Tugger."

He growled. "Then you didn't learn what you should've."

This time he snatched at her wrists, pinning them behind her back. His kiss was just as forceful as before, his grip too tight. Victoria fought him again, attempting to knee him. She only managed to stumble, and as she hit the ground he was there pinning her to the floor. His weight compressed her lungs, and his lips still moved against hers.

Unable to control her anger, and the desperation for air, not to mention the frustratingly strong desire to beat him at his own game, Victoria leant into the kiss. Tugger smiled against her mouth, and she took her opportunity.

The hiss was louder this time, followed by a string of cursing that would have given the famed pirates a run for their money. He spun back to face her with his gold eyes wide. She watched as the blood trickled from his lower lip.

She sauntered closer.

"Touch me again without my permission and I'll make sure no one finds your body."

He grinned. "That's better- so we've established fury, wouldn't you agree?"

Her breath still came in short pants, her shoulders shrugging delicately. "I think that's a fair claim."

The black fur of his shoulders shook as he laughed, sliding down to sit at her feet. "I'm sorry- but I promise it will serve you well. Passion is nearly the same thing- except without the threat attached to the end… so let's work on intimacy…"

She growled, leaning away. Tugger arched a brow, the smirk pulling again at the corners of his mouth. "I didn't mean physically, Victoria. This game is much simpler. All we need to do is share a secret or two."

"You make it sound so easy- so why don't you go first?" The acid in her voice was overshadowed by a note of interest. It was the same feeling as finding a trinket in the junkyard you know you shouldn't pick up, but had to anyway. The feeling intensified as Tugger shrugged his shoulders, his paws suddenly jittery against his knees.

Victoria smiled, leaning into his side with a gentle nudge to his ribs. "Here I thought you were an open book; nothing to hide."

He chuckled, closing his eyes. "Yeah- that's what everyone thinks." Tugger held his breath, letting the words rush out as he finally exhaled. "I've never forgiven my mother for leaving the Tribe."

A pin could have dropped, and the sound would have echoed. "That's not much of a surprise, Tugger…"

Nodding, he continued, "I know. My secret is I'd rather know she was dead, instead of always wondering why she left, where she is, and how she is. Peace of mind is a valuable thing."

Wrapping her tail around her frame Victoria stared hard at the worn red curtains blocking them off from the rest of the world.

"I don't want to dance with Plato at the Ball."

"Really?"

"I know it's important… but it's like the way Griddlebone feels about Ghengis. I get it- but I don't feel it."

Silence stretched between them, until he spoke.

"May I?"

Her head tilted forward. "Yes."

And she moved first, slowly, deliberately. She wound her claws in the fur ringing his throat. The pressure of his lips was softer- her paws ran down his chest, resting against the curve of his ribs. Tugger drew back, pressing his forehead to hers. His breath stirred her fur as he whispered "We better go get ready… the show will be starting soon."

Victoria took her opportunity to kiss him another time, mumbling the words "If this doesn't work, I don't know what will."

He grabbed her paw, holding on until she stepped out of his reach.

"See you on stage."

The lights dimmed and the crowd in front of them hushed. Gus' gray and black coat was a dim blur at the back of the theater as Victoria entered from the wings, her steps a faint thud on the set. Blinking away from the glare of footlights she glanced up through false lashes at the tom sitting at the prow of the wooden ship, which leant out over the edge of the stage.

"Why do you sit out here, all alone?"

He turned at her question with a single copper eye gleaming, as the other was distorted by a milky blue contact... though the effect was strange to her, and no doubt intimidating to the audience, it did nothing to lessen how handsome he was. All his gold fur was painted a fiery red; still Victoria didn't see any character other than Tugger in front of her.

"I'm not alone now."

She smiled, draping herself across his lap with an ease that was as comfortable as it was unfamiliar.

"You're right. Now we'll never be alone again, shall we?"

There was no answer, except for a sigh and a kiss. Victoria held her breath, losing herself in the moment. Addie's leap onto the stage resounded with a crash that genuinely startled her. Clinging to Tugger's arms, she stood. Perhaps a second had passed before Admetus threw an arm around her waist and tore her away. She heard the echo of dialogue they had practiced that day as Tugger was backed towards the ship's plank. But now as she recited her lines there was a raw power to the words, an uncontainable reality that put a tremor in Tugger's voice, and created real tears in her eyes.

And as he fell, the scream that clawed its way out of Victoria's throat was filled with all the anguish as if she too had suddenly died of a broken heart.

The curtain closed with the accompaniment of a standing ovation.

They stood shoulder to shoulder behind the drape with paws clasped tightly.

Tugger grinned, "So- if we've covered the basics of being in love… what do you see we take a chance on the details?"

Victoria rolled her eyes, her tail twining with his.

"I think it's worth a risk."

**A/N The following couple is "Background Moonlight" :) good luck! **


	4. Undue Risks

**A/N A strange yet likable couple :D thus please forgive the clichéd (?) plot**

"You need to stop thinking about this like it's a choice," she paused to fiddle with the plain leather collar that rested at the hollow of her throat, "it stopped being one as soon as more than just _your_ life was on the line."

He looked her up and down with a quiet resignation; she was eighteen perhaps, certainly not a day more. Her coat was streaked with pale red and white and her black fur had a blue shine to it, highlighting the soft coffee color of her eyes. She was clearly well cared for… and it brought the question of 'Why pick me?' back to the forefront of his mind. The Junkyard always looked down on the scrap-metal cats; and the divide between the groups was as vastly different as their lifestyles.

They'd been speaking for hours now, tucked in one of the cutouts past the Junkyard's border. Her sudden appearance had startled him to say the least, and distracted him long enough for Jemima to begin talking. That was that- the ideas she mentioned, and the things she offered were practically irresistible.

"Are you listening, Admetus?"

He blinked the stars out of his eyes, and nodded. Running his claws through slightly matted fur, he sighed.

"So- if I have this straight…" he crossed his arms, hugging them to his chest, "You want me to pretend to be your mate... that way you'll be released from an arranged mating, and I'll gain acceptance to the Tribe." There was no question about it, no real confirmation needed, as she had made her point abundantly apparent. Yet somehow the ludicrous illusion she presented sounded almost like a perfect scam… although he was unsure if that was due to the details, or simply the melody in her voice that made it all right.

"Two days of a charade- that's all."

He sank to the ground at her feet with a jaded laugh.

"You make it sound like it's a kitten's game." Admetus turned to stare, "But the consequences are real if something goes wrong."

Jemima grinned, "Nothing's going to go wrong." She sat next to him, pulling a studded collar from the bag that she had clung to as she approached him. "Assuming you accept my offer that is."

Her small paw held the metal and leather in front of him. Neither of them moved. When the tom finally spoke, his voice was rough, as if he hadn't spoken for hours. Perhaps he hadn't.

"What's so horrible about the tom you're meant to mate with?"

The queen's claws extended, biting into her palm as she fisted her paw around the collar. The chocolate irises darkened.

"I don't know what you mean." The lyrical voice was distantly cold, suddenly the same disdainful tone that Admetus had heard from every other Junkyard Cat that wandered outside their border.

He shrugged, rising. "No one hates someone blindly. Just curious as to what your reason was for not wanting to be his mate." Turning on his heel, Addie took one long stride away before she caught his shoulder.

Refusing to look at him, Jemima answered.

"I've never seen him in my life. I know nothing about him other than a name."

A low whistle escaped the scrap-metal tom, before he glanced down at Jemima.

"Not a thing?"

The fur at her temples quaked as she shook her head. Sighing, he gently tugged the spare collar from her paw, clasping the cold leather about his neck.

"Then how do you know you won't like him, or grow to love him?"

Holding his arms wide in a mock-show of his borrowed finery, Addie waited for her to respond.

Carefully straightening the metal tag at the hollow of his throat, she murmured "I'm not willing to risk my heart and my future on those kinds of odds."

He avoided asking why she seemed willing to risk just that for his help.

An hour later and the two stood outside the gateway to the Junkyard, protected from sight by a glittering wall of shattered mirror pieces that created the illusion of hundreds of cats surrounding them. Admetus knew that in a few moments the sensation would become a reality.

Jemima smiled up at him with encouragement. He was struck again by how beautiful she was- although the fact that he knew so little about her overshadowed the thought. She had been careful to explain to him the details that were needed for their farce and nothing else.

"I hope you know what you're doing Jemima… because I certainly don't."

Looping her arm through his she nodded, leading them closer to the gates.

"I hope so too."

Admetus could almost feel the tension ease from the young queen's shoulders as she headed towards the center of the Yard.

His eyes greedily roamed across the sights before him. The cats nearby did not have fur tangled with garbage or caked with dirt. They did not have the burnt whiskers, missing claws, or yellowed paws and teeth of the strays he had always known. There weren't brawls for scraps, or the strained hissing that accompanied that fearful sinking feeling of a new arrival.

He had made the scrap-metal cats his family, but looking among the Tribe Admetus realized how different that word's meaning was to him. Family meant saving each other from a car, and sending a warning if danger was nearby; it meant pulling your fair share and hoping that every once in a while someone would cut you a break. Nothing more… or so he'd been told.

But as Jemima rushed among the other Junkyard Jellicles, her face aglow and true enthusiasm filling her introductions, he saw the difference between her family and his. It existed in the laughter and hugs from her friends, and the acceptance they offered Addie simply for being near her. There was nothing comparable to being wanted like that.

A great booming voice jolted Admetus from his euphoria, and Jemima let go of his paw for the first time since entering the Yard. She rushed past the old cars and pipes, leaping onto a dais constructed of an old tire. There stood an elderly tom, wide and jovial, his face creased with laugh-lines. A queen quietly appeared at his side, her fur worn to a dull gray. But the queen's dark eyes sparkled like the mist in front of the stars and Admetus realized she had the same gaze as Jemima.

His suspicions were confirmed as his "mate-to-be" led the couple down to him, saying "Grandmother, Grandfather; this is Admetus. He is _my _choice."

The emphasis Jemima placed on the possessive term reminded him again of his part to play. He held out a confident paw.

"Pleased to meet you, sir. Ma'am."

"Well now, he certainly is a handsome one Jemi. I'm Grizabella- and my mate, Deuteronomy."

Deuteronomy chuckled, pulling the younger tom into a tight embrace. "You're going to be family, Admetus. Best get used to it now."

He grinned, taking the opportunity to pull Jemima to his side and twine his arms around her waist. "I guess so."

She whipped her head towards him, and whispered "Aren't you a tom of hidden talents?"

"Jemi!" Fast as lightning she was ahead of him, wound tightly in the arms of a black and gold queen that could only be her mother. He padded over, waiting silently as Jemima told the fabricated story of their romance. The same time as Addie stepped forward, a silver tom arrived eliciting a laugh and a kiss from Jemima. Her father stood tall, his eyes narrowed as he glanced across the tom his daughter had supposedly fallen in love with.

"Come inside," Munkustrap's tone was weary though his smile was warm, "I want to talk."

Jemima nodded. She, Admetus, Demeter, Grizabella, and Deuteronomy followed him inside a rusted car, with a license plate that read TSE1. Settled inside among the cracked leather seats, Jemima's father took a moment to study them together.

With a paw braced to the bridge of his nose, he grimaced. "I can't change my decision, Jemima."

Admetus felt her growl, before he heard it; the low rumble of her chest vibrating against his side. "I refuse to change mine."

Those were the only words she uttered before storming from the car, her tail swishing behind her. "I'm sorry, sir. I think I should speak to her…"

He strode out after her. The light was dim when he left, and the night had settled long before he found her curled in a drain pipe at the edge of the Yard. His words came in an exasperated huff.

"What use am I, when you are the one who can't remember the lines?"

Her melodic voice was strained, and he realized that the raw sound was that of unshed tears; "I'm sick of acting for their benefit."

He held back a bitter laugh. "Then you set yourself up for failure- and me as well."

Rolling into a sitting position, Jemima nodded. "It's crazy I know… but I thought it would work."

"What's crazier," he muttered, his tone softening, "is that I accepted. I know nothing other than your name and a story you easily could have made up-Sound familiar?"

The gentle mention of Jemima's unknown mate formed an intense silence between them, but he continued regardless.

"But I still promised I'd help…" The crickets chirped a mournful symphony that nearly drowned Admetus out. "Tell me why you picked me."

Finally she looked up at him, the moon creating a pale highlight in the deep brown irises. A smile flitted across her lips, disappearing as quickly as he saw it.

"I suppose I have an affinity for lost things; it's gotten me into more trouble than it's worth and I wouldn't be any other way even if I had the choice."

His claws itched to trace the curve of her face, sneak a kiss, and pretend for a moment that he knew exactly who Jemima was. The feeling didn't fade, even after she looked away and stood. Spending his life among cats that were always trying to hide something or other, Admetus learned how to read an expression or movement with startling accuracy. A simple phrase was conveyed in her stance. Her back was turned towards him although she watched him over her shoulder, arms wrapped around her waist. It was what Addie had always called "what if".

What if she actually fell for him? What if this wasn't a charade?

A new voice echoed nearby and Admetus watched Jemima's gaze shift to the tom that entered the clearing. His coat was pale, with dark rust-colored patches and eyes framed with dark lashes. Admetus was reminded again of the differences between himself and these Junkyard cats emotionally, and physically as well.

Taking a step towards Jemima, Addie addressed the newcomer.

"Who are you, and why are you out here?"

The young tom gave a nod of his head, "Munkustrap sent me to find you both. He asked that you give him the chance to explain."

Jemima bristled, but she didn't move a muscle. "Then answer who you are- my father doesn't trust many cats, and I don't know your face."

"My name is Plato."

Addie sighed, the pieces falling into place when Jemima held her breath, eyes wider than ever. And his own what-if happened before his eyes. What if she fell in love with the tom she was meant to be with? What if he was in the way of her happy ending?

Placing a paw on her shoulder, Addie murmured in her ear, knowing his voice would carry in the silence.

"Go on back; I'll be right behind you. Promise."

She swallowed hard. He couldn't tell if she had succumbed to a moment of irrationality, or simply resumed their farce as she spun to face him. Standing on her tiptoes she pressed her lips to his. Breaking apart, she leant her forehead to his, and smiled.

No other word was said. Jemima followed Plato back to the Yard with measured steps. She did not run ahead or linger behind the young tom, but walked beside him.

His own paws shook as he removed the borrowed collar. Addie could see a future play out before him; Jemima by his side, and a kitten or two clinging to his tail, a community and family he'd never had. But looking at the picture in his mind it was impossible to tell if their smiles were genuine. Could a masquerade be that convincing?

Jemima had said she wouldn't place her heart against those odds… and neither would Admetus. For her sake and his own.

The collar was placed on the edge of the Junkyard.

A gentle breeze flipped the light aluminum tag after Addie had left it behind.

Scratched into the back with a rough, unpracticed hand like a kitten's were the words

'_For the heart as lost as mine; _

_I wish you only the best… Perhaps our "what if" will be answered someday._

_Love, Addie.'_

**A/N Next up- "Philosophies and so on…"**


	5. Everything I Never Wanted

**A/N Requested by ****CommanderDataReportingForDuty**** and ****ducks-go-quack-00****. Slightly shorter, but a fun shot nonetheless :D**

"They expect me to pick a mate soon…" she smacked his shoulder lightly, pulling his attention back from whatever blurry depths his mind contained.

"I know." It was the only answer he gave. He didn't even look up from where his gaze rested on the rusted scrap of the Yard's edge.

"Can you imagine; me, a settled and mature queen, with a mate and den?" She mimed the scenario, and exasperation clear in her tone.

He smiled, pale eyes flicking up from the discolored metal.

"Although if I'm being honest, you'd be worse than I would! It's enough to make me shudder…" Cettie grinned, lessening the slight.

Now Plato really laughed, teasing. "Don't forget about the kits!"

"I have no desire whatsoever to have a kit with anyone; they are much too difficult to train."

He ignored her never ending commentary, shifting again inside the giant tire in the yard and wincing as the calico queen's elbows dug into his ribs for the thousandth time.

"Um, Cettie? How long before you outgrow using me as your personal pillow?"

Her manic grin returned and she shrugged. After a halfhearted attempt to shove her off, Plato resigned himself to the role. It certainly wasn't comfortable; her knees draped across his lap, her head lolling in the crook of his elbow, and her tail occasionally swishing beneath his chin. In this pose he supposed she looked like one of those sweet human dolls while he was a gangly marionette that happened to occupy the same shelf. Breathing as deeply as he could with her balanced on top of him, he turned his attention back to the issue at hand.

"I just don't understand why you set such high standards, and then complain about being single."

Her eyes were closed against the glaring sunlight, its beams turning her lashes gold and fracturing off her collar.

"So now it's a crime to know exactly what I want?"

Sighing, the white-and-rust tom glanced around the yard. "I didn't say that."

He should have just left it alone. There was no reason for him to be so concerned about her love life, or ask the kind of questions he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the answers to. But it was irresistible.

"Then explain again what you want…"

Etcetera's sharp teeth glinted as she grinned, rolling her head to look out at the other queens and toms playing in the clearing.

"What I want? Or who?"

Quite literally biting his tongue, the patched tom refused to dignify the comment with an answer, waiting impatiently for her response.

A low hum preceded a lazy wave in Pounce's direction. "A sense of humor for one thing…you should get one, they're nice."

Narrowing his pale blue eyes, Plato scoffed, the sudden intake of breath causing Cettie to slip a little farther into his lap. Too consumed with their own attempts to hide the heat rising in their cheeks, both young cats were unaware of Pouncival's look of irritation; neither of them had ever quite learned to whisper properly.

"You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Plato managed to mumble.

"Well, I try to cater for my audience."

Cettie focused on the soft rumble of her claws across the rubber tire, pulling herself away a few inches. Breathing room… so Plato might not feel how fast her heart was beating now.

"So then, I would guess that Cori is out of luck then, on being your perfect mate."

"He is sort of cute- although I would die before ever letting him know that."

Her voice was flippant and bubbly, and she gestured vaguely towards Coricopat, and the other toms that roamed the clearing.

Plato rolled his head on his shoulders, settling his gaze on Cettie. As he watched her, he was reminded again of that unshakable urge to tell her how much his heart ached upon seeing her, how he thought he loved her more than anything else and how he desperately hoped she felt the same. Despite his wishes, the words that came out of mouth were, "Fells, will you shut up? That's so twisted."

Sapphire blue eyes flashing, she spun on him. "What about you and Jem then? That was creepy…"

Again, drawn so deep into their own conversation, Jemima's sudden interest went unnoticed. Pounce stepped closer to the petite queen, whispering in her ear quickly. She nodded, dashing around the yard to gather several other cats.

Plato folded his arms across his chest. "What was so bad about that?"

_Well first off, the fact that it happened at all…_ restraining the frustration in her thoughts, Cettie sat up straighter, hoping to take on the dignified look of one of the older queens.

"She was too young for you. And at that point, all of us were too young to be in any kind of relationship anyway."

Forcing himself into a sitting position opposite the tabby queen, Plato raised an eyebrow.

"That didn't seem to stop you."

Sensing a fight looming, Tumble- the peacemaker of the group- sidled next to Etcetera, bumping her shoulder gently.

"Everything okay?" He smiled, one side of his mouth pulling higher than the other. Glancing at Plato from the corner of her eyes, Cettie turned her attention to the new tom.

"Just fine. We were talking about qualities we find attractive… care to weigh in with an opinion?" Plato was intensely aware as she placed a paw upon Tumble's knee.

Electra sauntered over, propping herself on her elbows near Plato's head. "If he won't I will- a tom should be…bold. Not afraid to say what he wants."

A soft tap was heard as Cettie clapped her paws together. "I like that one."

"That's why Plato would be such a bad choice for any queen," the tortoise-shell queen continued, "He doesn't open up. Too guarded: how can you trust someone if you don't really know them? And then how can you love them if you don't trust them?"

Shrugging her shoulders uncomfortably, Cettie debated how to answer. Plato had never been anything but an open book to her; she knew the secrets he wouldn't tell his closest friends, and could tell when, where, and how he got every scar he had, and could describe his hideouts better than she could detail her own home.

Jemima hid a smile, lightly tapping Tugger and Bomba's shoulders before nodding her head towards the growing group.

A bitter edge cut through Plato's sarcasm; "You can cross off Misto too if that's the case."

"How come every time we have a conversation you end up making life decisions for me?" Cettie hissed, "Besides, his mystery just adds to the sex appeal."

She won a small moment of triumph as the rust and white tom grimaced at her word choice, before her own face flamed red when a nearby voice commented, "I'm flattered, truly."

A quick laugh rippled among the toms. Misto gave Cettie a once over, before sitting nearby, his back to the group.

"I've always hated the cliché that looks don't matter. I mean, obviously they aren't the only thing that is important, but an initial attraction is essential, wouldn't you agree Plato?" The magical tom gave only a short pause, "You could say it isn't something you notice- but you'd be lying. For example- answer with the first thing that comes to mind- blue eyes, or brown?"

Lingering on the question would only raise a more intense interrogation, so squaring his broad shoulders, Plato played along, his voice calm and clear… even if it was only a bluff.

"Blue."

Tugger chimed in, "Tall or short?"

"Shorter than me."

"Pale fur, or dark?" Bomba threw the question at him as she sauntered past, stilling for a moment as Plato snapped back.

"Pale."

He cursed himself, poker face slipping. Cettie was staring at him with an intense curiosity that he desperately wished to avoid. There was no easy way to answer the question in her eyes; no way at all to explain himself without breaking the safe, trusted sphere of "friendship".

Cettie's own bubbly voice, subdued with a hesitancy he didn't know she ever possessed, asked him, "And what about kissing?"

"What does it mean to be a good kisser, even?" He glanced up at her, and the joke no longer held the flippancy he had hoped for, "Does it mean they don't knock heads with you?"

Manic laughter echoed and at last, Plato caught a glimpse of Pounce behind Etcetera, leaping forward. He too leaned towards her; hoping to pull her out of Pounce's path. He wasn't quick enough.

His eyes closed- more in anticipation of the collision than anything else… Cettie braced herself against him, a shout of protest silenced as her mouth crashed into Plato's.

A cheer went round, and when the two finally opened their eyes again, everyone who had gathered around had dispersed. They all acted as if nothing happened, a nonchalant disregard for the plan they had so precisely executed. Only a quick wink from Pounce and Jemima indicated that the attack was intentional.

The cream colored tabby bit her lip, giggling as she returned to Plato's lap. Only now, she rested her head upon his chest, tucking herself beneath his arms.

"So- back to what I was saying before… I always dreamed of the perfect tom; tall, gorgeous, kind, caring, there's a whole list of things I was looking for... then I met you and the list went out the window. It's incredible."

Too stunned to think of a witty response, Plato closed his eyes.

"What is?"

Cettie rolled her shoulder, digging into the young tom's stomach, just below his ribs. He grumbled some insult under his breath as she answered. "The fact that you're the only thing that keeps me sane."

Smirking, Plato finally found his perfect comeback. "Really? Because you're the only thing that drives me crazy."

**A/N- "Silent Explosions"… have fun guessing :)**


	6. Lionheart

**A/N Not gonna lie, I'm kind of addicted to the darker potential this couple has ;) Also due to a sudden mass of schoolwork, I will most likely be sticking with the once a week updates for the semester. Please forgive me- but I hope consistent updates are better than falling behind :P enjoy!**

The yard that had been crowded with movement and voices a moment before was suddenly nothing more than heavy silence and bowed heads. She bit her lower lip, sharp teeth indenting the skin in an attempt to hold back her venomous words. She glared at the ground as the numerous Jellicles passed her- the slow but stately tread of Deuteronomy, the long swaying strides of the elder son Rum Tum Tugger. Bombalurina virtually held her breath as they crossed the yard; only their protection kept her from Macavity's wrath. Although in all honesty, it was more to serve their own purposes- she had useful information, and her connections to the Napoleon of Crime were the perfect excuse to keep the scarlet queen locked away inside their Junkyard.

_"You are naught but a pawn, an expendable plaything to control and dispose of on a whim—a pretty puppet on a string." Rum Tum Tugger drawled, his form sprawled out across the tire before Deuteronomy's throne. The scarlet queen stood tall before him, face solemn and paws bound._

"_If that is all you think of me, then what is there to protect me should you lose your battle with Macavity? He is skilled, and has studied all the possible details of a war against you…"_

_The elder prince's tone was acidic. "Competence on the battlefield is a myth. The side which screws up next to last wins, it's as simple as that."_

The pawsteps faded, and Bomba heard many rise and leave with the sound. Her tail curled around her knees, the joints cracking as she rose to turn and take herself as far from her captors as she may. A voice called after her; quiet but commanding.

"Wait."

She saw his shadow before he placed himself in front of her.

"Well now; it seems we have a thief in our midst… I find my heart has gone missing." She turned dark eyes on the younger son of Deuteronomy; the prince Coricopat. He placed a paw lightly across his chest, a smile catching at the corners of his mouth.

He was as tall as his brother, head held high and shoulders squared. Handsome…if only he weren't an accomplice to her torment.

"Perhaps you should avoid the fashion of the court and place your heart somewhere safer than your sleeve, sir. Step aside!"

Bombalurina began walking, ducking beneath his outstretched arm and quickening her pace, hoping to get away. She managed perhaps three steps before his paw caught her wrist, sending her spinning around to face him. His grip was tight, crushing, bruising, and a gasp slipped past her lips. He immediately released her, though his expression remained steely.

"You shall not speak so to a Prince, lady."

Cursing under her breath, Bomba gathered her resolve, pouring her fury into the words she would not dare speak to anyone before this.

"My father Growltiger was King here once, and it is my brother Macavity who stands against you now. I have grown up around royalty, and I see no reason to curb my tongue now."

He frowned, shoulders stiff. Bomba grinned. She could easily be punished for such statements, but it seemed she couldn't help herself…there was something infuriatingly irresistible about this conquering-savior.

However, Cori moved a step closer, muscles tensed. Waving a paw, the few servants who lingered nearby retreated; he did not move again until even their shadows had gone.

"And now that your court is gone, will you strike me?"

He shook his head, the black of his eyes narrowed. "No. I simply wish to talk with you, without such avid listeners."

Shrugging delicately, Bombalurina spun on her heel, perching herself on the fence at the edge of the clearing. A mirror lay shattered on the ground in front of her; she focused her attention on it, attempting to pick out the strands of copper in her fur, so she might forget about the tom that stood behind her.

Coricopat sighed. Each time he had spoken to the scarlet queen, she sat in front of that broken mirror for hours at a time, staring at her reflection from different angles and humming what was probably a lullaby.

His thoughts circled for something to say, to ease the silence. And the only phrase that came to mind was the one he asked her each time she retreated to the silver backed glass.

"What are you looking at?

At first he had assumed it was simple vanity; nothing new in a court whose Princes were young, and neither were mated. His gentle voice had asked what she was looking at, and Corico refused to believe her when she explained that she wasn't watching herself, that she was peeking into another world behind the glass, a world that looked much like theirs but was somehow brighter, better.

Perhaps grief had made her crazy, or it was a strange trick to make him the fool. After that, whenever her steps led them to the mirror, he had echoed that initial question. Her smoky voice stayed sealed behind her lips. But it was enough to just admire her beauty. Her odd fur and tremendous brown eyes that were covered with a dull film of disinterest and that skimmed over everything she saw. It was hard to listen to her when she spoke, because she never made eye contact with anyone, and also because she swayed her hands along with her words as if everything escaping her mouth was somehow lyrical.

Nobody in their right mind would have believed what she was saying, and Corico thought that many cats would have ceased paying attention to her long before he did. It was near impossible to say why the younger Prince kept asking her what she looking at.

Partly, he supposed, it was the growing desire to see her tilt her chin upwards, her lips pinched into a thoughtful, almost regal expression in the glass. Mostly Corico wanted to check, to see if she would give him the same answer as before, or any answer at all.

Yet he couldn't deny the small corner of his heart that would never give up the hope that someday she would give a different answer, or better still, she would put the mirror down and look at him. More than anything, Corico craved a moment where Bombalurina would catch his gaze in the glass, and turn, to truly look at him.

This time- the same as all the times before it- was no different. She didn't turn, or speak.

The disappointment that stabbed at Corico's heart shocked him, and for a moment he was furious at himself for even daring to hope. He gave a curt nod, and spun on his heel to leave.

Four paces were as far as he'd gone when a sound echoed after him; Bombalurina was laughing. The dark stripped prince froze, refusing to look back at her.

"You have never left so quickly before."

"Your point, lady?"

"I have none…" Bombalurina's voice was distant, quiet. "I must ask. Why am I treated as a criminal here? Deuteronomy has claimed that my safety and well-being are his concerns, but not once has a kind word been given to me. Why?"

At last, Corico turned back, brows furrowed over black eyes. The scarlet queen still sat in front of the mirror, and did not look at him directly, the glass creating a barrier between their gazes.

"You are still the sister of our greatest enemy… and as such-"

She cut him off, disdain dripping from the words. "-I may be treated as they please?!"

Shaking his head with a sigh, Corico dared to step closer to her, hover behind her shoulder.

"A king does not do as he wishes, he does that which is good for all. A _good_ king, that is; and my father tries to be just that. We cannot trust you so entirely yet, and that is why you have been treated this way."

"You would claim Deuteronomy to be a just ruler?"

Giving a quick laugh, Corico nodded. "He delivers judgment upon the right, not upon the higher of rank. He rules with an iron will and a gentle hand. His people know what is due them, and his nobles are not mere fluttery pieces of bright fabric - they are intelligent and understanding. A good king requires good people to know that he is a good king, for self-flattery only has an air of ego about it. That is where my brother fails…"

He reached a tentative paw out, placing it upon her shoulder. Bombalurina tensed, but did not move away.

"I shall ask my father to lessen the restrictions he has imposed on you." He smiled, meeting her eyes in the shattered glass in front of them. "Take it as my peace offering."

A grimace crossed her face, and she leant away from the Jellicle Prince, pulling her shoulder from his grasp. "Who said I wanted peace?"

Stunned, Corico tried to form words, stumbling over his own thoughts. "I only meant-"

"It doesn't matter what you meant. It no longer matters where I am- I am to be an outsider regardless! Placated and gagged into submissive silence…" Her husky voice was venomous, and her back was rigid. Only the agitated swishing of her white patched tail gave away her rising temper.

"My brother exiled me for being too soft, since I was unable to stomach the atrocious crimes he committed. Here I am jailed for being too strong, refusing to be a traitor to my family."

The young tom attempted to move in front of her, catch her eyes without the mirror between them. Bombaluirna stared intently at the ground.

"Then tell me-"

"You don't understand."

His patience snapped, and he grabbed at her paws, holding them tightly to his chest. "Then make me understand! I'd do anything you asked me to… please. Let me in. The last thing I would ever do is hurt you."

"Who are you, that you think I would believe such a promise?" She said it disdainfully, though her paws trembled- his heartbeat raced against her palm. He knelt before her, tail brushing her legs. He had only this moment to convince her he truly meant what he said, too caught up in the moment to think his actions through.

Corico leant forward; his voice was a hoarse whisper, "Lady Bombalurina… I shall be whoever you wish me to be."

The deep gold eyes that met his were wide and clear- and for a moment, she did not hide the vulnerability behind those stunning irises.

**A/N- "Peace and Quiet".**


	7. A Range of Thoughts

**A/N A bit of age shuffling in this one- but hopefully it makes sense :)**

_He may still love you. He probably will. He probably thinks about you all the time. But that's not what matters. What matters is what he's going to do about it...You need someone who makes it obvious they want you in their life…_

Tantomile was unaware that the words had become a mantra in her mind, until her brother unceremoniously broke in.

_I'm assuming you aren't talking about me and Mungojerrie, because despite everyone else's opinion we are perfectly secure in our relationship…_

With the mental equivalent of an eye roll, and trying to hide the panic she felt at almost slipping, Tanto answered her brother with a simple; _Nevermind. It doesn't matter._

_I know when you're lying, sis. What's wrong?_ Cori stared pointedly at the ceiling of their den, his posture relaxed. If she didn't know better she might have thought that he was indifferent to the entire situation.

_Nothing's wrong._

It wasn't exactly a lie, but still near enough that she didn't want to deal with her brother's interrogation. She spoke aloud, closing her mind.

"I just need some time to think for myself, ok?"

Cori sat up, his brows furrowed as he attempted to break past the barrier she had created, subtly clawing at the mortar between bricks made of hollow thought. But she had created a steel box, more volatile than the famed Pandora's.

"You know I can keep a secret… and I hate speaking out loud." The hurt was evident in his tone. Sighing, she gave him a quick smile.

"You should practice conversation then. I'm sure Cettie would love to talk, or Tumble and Jem, or Jerrie."

Cori smirked, with a conspiratorial laugh. "I don't know… we aren't too keen on talking."

Her stomach twisted painfully, reminded of why she was shutting him out. "Remember how we promised to leave our love lives out of conversations? Let's not break that." Sighing, Tanto moved towards the fading sunlight outside their den.

"I'm going to go keep him company during his watch… I'll see you later, ok, Cori?"

His eyes still trained on her, the young tom nodded solemnly, a faint whisper working its way through the cracks in her control.

_Whatever's going on… we'll be alright. Love you._

She waved a paw in a vague farewell, letting her arm fall back to her side. Tantomile had never been outspoken- it was one of the downfalls of possessing telepathic communication. She avoided confrontation as much as possible… there was something so unsettling about raised voices to her; as if someone had turned up the volume of the world, to a deafening level that just left her head spinning.

Afraid of the possibility of an argument, Tantomile crossed her arms over her stomach, brown stripes stark against the white. How long had she been pacing? Minutes? Or an hour? The depression she had created in the dirt by the fence ringing the yard suggested it was closer to the second.

A gentle paw was placed on her shoulder, and Tantomile tensed, spinning around. Asparagus had stepped back, his hands thrown up in a casual surrender as he chuckled.

"I wasn't sure if you were in a trance or something. Didn't know whether to interrupt or not… looked a bit like you were having a nightmare…" The concern was clear in his voice.

"M'alright. Cross my heart." It was muttered, but Asparagus managed to catch the words that were little more than a whisper. He didn't press the subject further, but nodded towards the watch tower constructed of old furniture.

"Guard switched a while ago- he just came from border patrol, so he doesn't know you're here yet."

She gave a quick smile, hoping it reached her eyes. "Thanks, Asp."

The scruffy tom offered a paw, helping Tantomile over the fence before walking back towards the clearing. Heart speeding as the tower shifted beneath her careful steps, Tantomile attempted to slow her breaths.

_Maybe he'll be excited. Do you think that's possible?_

She reached the top of the uneven pile, and though he had his back towards her, she could tell he had heard her. Tantomile's heartbeat slowed when she saw him standing there, cool and confident. He'd always made her feel safer, more stable… _Something Cori has never been able to do, as hard as he tries._

_I resent that. _

_Go away ok? I need me time, got it?_

His pale ears twitched towards her, and his black tipped tail swished along the ground. She rolled her dark eyes, and walked over, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I didn't mean to distract you, Lonz."

The black patched tom gave a short laugh, wrapping his tail around her legs. "You're always a welcome distraction Mile. Your brother must be driving you crazy."

_I am not; your tomfriend is the one driving me crazy._

_If you don't go away, I'd be only too happy to kiss him, with my mind open for you to read._

Cori's voice retreated from her mind. Grinning now, Alonzo tugged at her paw, pulling her close as they balanced on the arm of an old sofa.

It seemed as if the entire word was in front of them here. A quiet field separated the junkyard from the boisterous road, where blinding headlights cast shadows in beams across the grass and rubble. Peaceful… if only her mind would settle. Tantomile curled into Alonzo's side, her head resting against his shoulder.

"So what happened? Everything okay?" His voice was soft, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

"I guess so… I'm just- I just couldn't be around him right now."

_Because I hate keeping secrets from him. _The statement went unvoiced. _And this is one secret he doesn't need to know yet._

Alonzo tensed slightly, glancing down to look at the psychic queen with concerned blue eyes. "Why not?"

Shaking her head, Tantomile closed her eyes, turning her face into Alonzo's neck.

"Lonz?" His icy eyes scanned the border, tail winding around hers. There was no real threat today; she could sense as much, but he was never one to disregard his responsibilities… something she used to admire about him. But now it made her uneasy; she wanted him to stay of his own free will, not out of obligation.

"Hmm?"

His black paw tilted Tantomile's face up, leaning in to steal a kiss. She drew her knees up, staring hard at the ground in front of them, the blush lingering in her cheeks.

"I needed to tell you-"

"Lonzy!" The enthusiastic cry cut her short, and the couple twisted around to see a tuxedo kitten scrambling towards them. With a chuckle, Alonzo gave the tomkit a tight hug, before allowing him to squirm his way into Tantomile's lap.

She gave a small smile- Quaxo had his own special brand of magic, an ability to share his joy and enthusiasm with others. Tantomile was sure that Alonzo never would have made it past the grief of their parent's deaths without the kitten. They were all the family the other had… at least they had been…

"Sorry for the interruption." Alonzo placed his paw in hers, and Tantomile's heart contracted, catching her breath in her throat. The pressure of Alonzo's paw drew her into the moment again, and he looked back at her with a veiled fear.

"Mile- what's wrong?"

She still wasn't able to form the right words; how do you share news, when you don't know how it'll be received? Giving a good natured sigh, the dark stripped queen slipped her arms around Alonzo's young brother, brushing the dark fur away from his pale face. Quaxo smirked up at her, tugging at her ears and trying to make her laugh.

Opening her mind to the tomkit, Tantomile closed her dark eyes.

_I have something to tell Lonzo… but I don't know how to say it outside my head._

Quaxo's sweet voice echoed back to her, confused but comforting.

_Oh. Can I help, Millie?_

She began to hum a lullaby under her breath, thinking.

_I think you might, Quaxo…_

Tantomile cleared her throat, glancing over at Alonzo through her lashes. "I want to tell you something. But I don't know how…"

"Mile- you know you can tell me anything."

She nodded. "Can Quaxo and I try something?"

The patched tom nodded solemnly, the sunlight starting to fade behind him.

Quaxo leaned over and took his brother's paw, clasping Tantomile's in his other. Breathing deeply the kitten's feelings washed over the two older cats. Through the thread of Quaxo's mind, Tantomile released her own emotions. Hopefully they would be loud enough for Alonzo to hear.

Her heart beat in time with Quaxo's. Alonzo listened to the sound, eyes drifting closed; his own heartbeat slowing to match theirs.

"What am I listening for Mile?"

Holding her breath, Tantomile dismantled the wall in her mind.

Alonzo's brow furrowed, and he counted inside his head. The thump of his pulse was steady, and he heard Quaxo's swift heartbeat, and the slow pounding of Tantomile's heart echoed in his ears.

_One. Two. Three…Four…five._

The black and white tom's head snapped up, eyes wide. He stared at Tantomile, seemingly frozen. She stared back. Neither spoke.

Quaxo's giggle broke the silence several minutes later. "I get to teach them magic right?!"

Biting her lip, Tantomile untangled herself from the two of them, rising. "I don't know-"

Unable to contain her uncertainty, she gave a short nod goodbye, hoping to make it out of sight before crying. She shouldn't have expected anything else; they weren't even mates. Why should his shock be so painful?

_Don't cry- you will not make this any worse. Do not cry._

That plan fell to pieces when Alonzo rose, stepping after her and catching her paw. He spun her around, and she buried her face in his chest, letting the tears fall. His breath stirred her fur as he murmured by her ear.

"Why would you run away right now?"

She shook her head, unable to answer.

"If Quaxo is going to teach our kittens magic, I hope you'll teach me how you and Cori speak… That way we'll never be at a loss for words again. I want to know your thoughts, opinions, good or bad, anything and everything you want to say. I want you to know that nothing is going to change anything about who we are together. Ever."

She nodded against his collarbone, giving a watery laugh. Alonzo leant his forehead against hers.

"I suppose we should tell Cori, huh?"

_That was what you were so worried about? Jeez Tanto…Congrats, sis. _

Tantomile smiled, pressing herself closer to the patched tom. "I have a feeling he already knows."

**A/N chapter seven will be "Polka dot Gloves"- thanks and R&R!**


	8. Simply Complicated

**A/N The "OC" name here is actually canon (even if the relationship is not) :P references made to Growltiger's Last Stand.**

_Running away isn't that easy. The second you leave, you can't turn back. She took what little money she had, some clothes, and a few prized possessions, and left on a train. A lot of people say that train sounds are soothing, and help you sleep... they don't._

_Each lurch of the car cause shivers to run up her spine, a chilling fear of being caught coursing through her veins. There were few people on the train: after all, anyone headed towards London as the Blitzkrieg advanced must be either desperate or mad._

_Jenny couldn't decide which she might be._

_The streets of London were dark; several buildings crumbled into the roadway, creating jagged piles of brick the same color as dried blood. Every so often headlights of army vehicles would pass, and Jenny would duck into the shadow, returning when the roar of engines had died away. _

_But the nearer she got to the Thames, the less aware she became. Only the screech of tires and angry shouts brought her back to reality in time to dodge one of the covered trucks full of soldiers. Gasping for air, she spun, the car disappearing around the corner… except for one man that leapt from the back, chasing something Jenny could not see. _

_Suddenly, a dark tom appeared in front of her. His black eyes were wary, and he stepped closer as the officer called out. _

"_Jones-y! Where'd you go?" A few minutes passed, and the officer retreated. The tom watched Jenny, his demeanor easing slightly now that the officer had left. She gave him a terse nod, turning again towards the Thames, paws clenched into fists. He peered over his shoulder, cautious. But seeing no one, he followed her._

_His voice was a calm, authoritative baritone; "Where are you going, Miss…?"_

_Not slowing her pace, she answered. "Jennyanydots, sir. I'm going to find Growltiger's ship: there is a tom among his crew that I must find."_

_The sleek black tom lay a paw on her shoulder, stopping her. "You won't find it. Not before they find you… please. Perhaps I can help. Don't be so hasty- it's dangerous out here. Wait until daylight at least."_

_Her pale green eyes glanced up at him. The part of her that dreaded the confrontation she was seeking, begged to listen to the soldier cat. She lowered her gaze._

"_I- you're probably right. Thank you…"_

"_The names Bustopher Jones. Pleased to meet you."_

Maybe you don't know what you're getting yourself into… another day can't hurt…

_The uncertain mantra had played itself through her head for more than a week, and she remained with Bustopher, surprisingly at ease among the bustle of evacuations._

"_Sometimes I think of what it must be like, being shipped off like that…" he said, broad shoulders shrugging as Jenney looked up in alarm._

"_I might do more good on the front lines… Wonder if I'm more use dead than alive at this point._

_"You don't really believe that, Jones."_

_The tom smirked, throwing the old collar he had clutched in his hand to the ground and grinding it underfoot. He glanced up through tangled lashes, his black eyes burning in the fading light._

_"No. But it's better than admitting the truth." He grabbed her paw, leading the pale tabby towards one of the nearby pubs. Jenny listened to the hum of conversation, unable to find the words that might comfort the tom next to her. _

"_Hmph, I'll have you know I'm as young as ever." An older tom- who Jenny recognized as Bustopher's friend and landlord Gus- scoffed in indignation. "Besides, men of_ my _esteem age like a fine brandy."_

_The queen behind the bar laughed, her dark fur bristling as she leant across the counter. "For you to look young, it would take a fine amount of brandy indeed."_

_Bustopher stood, rolling his eyes, as he took another swig from a bottle of amber liquid. "Jenny. Take a walk with me…please?"_

_She nodded, taking the bottle and setting back out of his reach. "Ten minutes. That's it."_

_Sighing, Bustopher muttered beneath his breath. "One day, I'll make something of myself; no more hanging around in alleys and junkyards. No more scrounging for food. Live on St. James Street maybe…" He chuckled. "Think I could manage that Jenny?" _

"_If anyone could, it would be you."_

_Their steps fall in sync. Without realizing it, they had steered their way closer to the Thames than any time before. And it seemed to be a rule that the moment you forgot about something, it was bound to happen._

_A low hum drifted over from the dock; a tune from Jenny's kittenhood. She froze. Bustopher too paused, but she waved him away, staring as he continued on a few paces, retreating into the shadows. _

"_Who was that?"_

_Her fur stood on end; "No one."_

_A raspy laugh accompanied the tom that stepped into view. His fur was ragged, a pale orange with brown stripes across his back. He loomed over her. _

"_You were never good at keeping secrets, sis."_

"_One of us had to tell the truth, Grumbuskin."_

_Her older brother gave a snarl, holding on to her arm to keep her from fleeing. Though his slaws bit into her skin, the look on his face was desperate, almost ashamed._

"_I'll change Jenny. I could be the brother you wanted me to be…"_

"_Don't lie. You can't change; even if you could, just the thought of what you have done in the past, all those horrible sins you committed; why, it's downright disgusting you haven't turned that knife on yourself yet." _

_He grimaced, releasing his grip on her arm and stepping away. Pulling the blade from the curved scabbard at his side, Grumbuskin balanced it expertly in his paw. He blinked slowly, eyes set on Jenny, tilting his palm so the knife slipped, thudding against the ground._

"_I didn't come to hear your lectures or to deny your accusations…"_

_One by one, he removed the regalia that had claimed him as a pirate, listening intently to each passing thump as they fell. _

"_I came to tell you I'm leaving. The fleet has lost, though they don't see it yet. I'm not gonna risk being a part of their downfall- I'm sorry for being a part of the crew in the first place. Come with me. We could go back home…"_

_She shuddered, dodging his attempt to grab her paw. "I won't."_

_He growled, enunciating each word. "This is your last chance to be a part of this family."_

"_I don't think she wants to be." Butopher Jones sat a few feet away, arm crossed over the wide expanse of his chest, his posture relaxed, almost bored._

_Grumbuskin backed away, glaring as he headed towards the boats at a soldiers retreat. Bustopher harrumphed, shoving away from the wooden post, covered in mooring line. As he followed the stray tom a few paces, Jenny took the opportunity to rub the tears from her pale green eyes. She shouldn't have felt as guilty as she did; Grumbuskin had been the one to walk out on her…_

"_Come on…" the deep voice was gentle, "let's head back before Gus finds us out here. I'd rather not have to think on my feet this late at night." Jenny nodded, wrapping her arms around herself, hoping she might rein her emotions in just as easily. _

_He did not hesitate to offer her his arm, whispering "I'm sorry for your loss, Jenny…" _

_Bustopher's voice faltered, and the tabby queen gave a quick nod. "Me too."_

_The tall tuxedo tom led her back to the tavern, pausing in the alleyway outside. _

"_You know… I truly believe you deserve all the love the world can offer you…"_

_He leant in as if to kiss her, but she raised a paw over his mouth with a sad smile. "It would be selfish to give you a heart that's breaking, Bustopher Jones."_

_Nodding, he moved Jenny's paw over his heart. _

"_Then I'll wait for it to heal." _

The sound of the front door being opened snapped Jennyanydots from her memories, and she glanced up from her place on the windowsill. Stretching lithely, Jenny slipped to the floor, waiting patiently at the doorway of the parlor. A grin spread across her face as Bustopher followed their gentleman into the house.

"We are going to the yard tonight, aren't we dear?" Her mate gave a laugh.

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world. Misto and Victoria are both performing tonight, and isn't Etcetera doing acrobatics as well?"

Jenny nodded, slipping her arm through Bustopher's as they headed towards the back door. There was nothing dearer to Jenny than her family; all of it. She still celebrated the birthdays of her mate, and Bustopher's, both long since passed. She made no distinction between his children and hers. And the grandkits were her pride and joy, regardless of their bloodlines. Their heartaches, battles, and downfalls were her own, but so were their countless joys.

And when asked how on earth she managed to find love more than once- in a single lifetime- Jennyanydots would give an affectionate glance at Bustopher Jones, silently thanking him for living his life and still waiting for her in a corner of his heart. Then she would answer calmly.

"It's simply complicated."

**A/N- "Lying Blue Eyes" is the next couple… have fun!**


	9. Drunk on Dreams

**A/N More dialogue than some others, but I love the scenario :P Enjoy!**

His head was spinning, the colors of the Yard blurring together into a jumbled mess before slinking away from one another into a more recognizable image. Catching himself against the TSE1, Mungojerrie closed his dark eyes tightly; waiting to open them until the neon colored specks of light had faded. Managing to hold himself upright, Jerrie took a step towards the gates- the vague notion of returning to Victoria's Grove stuck in his head.

The young thief stared over the gate, his brows furrowed over deep set eyes. A queen seemed to be appearing and disappearing in the field of his vision just before the gate leading from the Junkyard. Her paws gripped the splintering railings as she leaned away from the soft thud of Jerrie's pawsteps. His vision was hazy, and spun in lazy circles as he tried to clear his head from the veterinary drugs. Suddenly, Cassandra was in front of him, a scathing concern etched on her elegant features.

"What in Bast's name is wrong with you?" Her brows were furrowed, and Jerrie stumbled closer she leant away, bracing her paws on the fence.

"I swear to drunk I'm not Bast." A grin crossed his face, and the calico tom began to laugh. Bent at the waist, he let his paws slip down Cassandra's arms; though the action certainly didn't help him catch his breath.

The Abyssinian queen rolled her eyes, trying to claw Mungojerrie's paws from her waist.

"I would hope not- if you were I would be expecting the impending apocalypse at any moment."

Gritting her teeth, Cassandra managed to release herself, bracing her paws against Jerrie's shoulders to keep the both of them steady.

"Fells- you look terrible."

"They gave me stuff that was a bit stronger than spiked cream, yeah. Kinda like the buzz though…" Trying again to launch over the gate, Mungo slipped, hitting the ground hard. He giggled as he brushed the dirt from his mouth.

"Doesn't help with the acrobatics sadly."

Cassandra's commanding voice wavered only slightly.

"Jerrie- I need you to tell me exactly how much nip you took." She wasn't usually one to get involved in other people's lives- it was only asking for trouble. Still, she wouldn't let the poor bugger accidentally kill himself if she could help it.

"What're you talking about?"

Gritting her teeth Cassandra forcibly stilled the calico tom. "What are you on right now, Jerrie?"

His brows knit together, and he mulled the question over. "Can't remember what it's called. Some kinda anti-venom. Spider had a bite worse than Teazer's."

Shaking her head, Cassandra spoke slowly, "You got bit by some poisonous spider, and decided to leave your house after the vet shot you up?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly."

"Brilliant." Her pale blue eyes scanned the clearing of the yard, hoping to find Teazer, or Jenny and Skimble, and release Jerrie to their custody. Unfortunately, the Junkyard seemed to be unusually quiet, with most cats gone to their owners as the last stinging days of winter faded into spring.

"Where's your sister anyway?"

"Out raiding, I'd guess." Sitting at Cassandra's feet, Jerrie gave a frown, "Don't trust me to get home myself?"

"Not like this I don't. So for now, you're stuck right here with me."

Curling up a few feet away from him, Cass couldn't help the blush that rose to her face as he closed his eyes, mumbling "Doesn't sound so bad to me."

Taking the opportunity while he wouldn't notice, she glanced across his face. It still held the scar on the bridge of his nose where she'd struck him several years ago, after he'd made a joke about her mother that hit too close to home. His left ear was still bent ever so slightly from all the times Teazer had tried to gain his attention, and he'd never outgrown the habit of tapping his paw against his knee when he was thinking. But so much else had changed since they were all friends as kittens. His shoulders were broader, and he was finally taller than her… and they rarely spoke at all nowadays. They might sit together at Tribe gatherings, and had danced once or twice at some Ball or other. But life had taken them in such different paths, that Cassandra assumed there was nothing the other could identify with.

The thought brought a distant smile to her face.

"What's so funny?" His blunt voice startled her out of her thoughts.

"Small talk is not something I am comfortable with." Her voice was soft, almost inaudible.

Jerrie sidled closer, crossing his arms and balancing his elbows against his knees. "I know. I remember you never being a too interesting conversation partner."

Scoffing, she replied, "I regret to tell you but at the age of seven, neither were you."

"Guess I did go a bit overboard on the enthusiasm: to be fair, I never really had to talk to a queen-kit that wasn't my sister… and if I remember correctly the two of them stopped speaking to me for about six months just before that…"

Her eyes widened, and Cassandra tried hard to suppress a chuckle. "What on earth for? Surely you weren't that much of a troublemaker so early on."

"You'd be surprised!" His head rolled against his shoulder's, the dark orange stripes shifting into new patterns as he tried to clear his head and think about events from so long ago. "Da had let us come on a round around the train, and we were waiting on the track. Some kinda trouble with the engine or something. It was so boring just sitting there, so I snuck up on the girls and hissed… scarred Tori so bad she fell off the car onto the rails. Teaz very nearly shoved me off too, but we managed to get Tori back on board 'fore Da knew anything. They didn't rat me out, but the sure as Fells made me pay for it."

At that, Cassandra relented, laughing gently. "That's some story, Jerrie."

Her words still sounded slurred and distant, but Cassandra's laugh had been loud and clear in his muddled mind. Focusing hard he glanced up.

"I got lucky. I'd like to think I'm a decent older brother, but Teaz and Tori make it easy. I don't think I've ever asked how well you get along with your brothers…"

It wasn't exactly a question. He wasn't forcing an answer. But his honesty- drug inspired though it may be- compelled her to trust him the same way.

"Tugger is Tugger. Not much to be said about that; I wish I could say that his arrogance is just an act, but he is officially a drama queen at all times. Addie, Victor, and I get along alright though…" She sighed, shrugging.

"Then again, Addie isn't around much, and Victor hasn't been back to the Tribe in, what? Five years? Six? And unfortunately Asparagus is a lot like me- not really one for conversation."

Jerrie's brows creased together- "You don't seem too reserved right now."

"It's easier to share things with someone who's high enough, that they probably won't remember much tomorrow," her tone was kinder than her words, and Jerrie gestured for her to continue. "My mother was very pleased with herself when she gave birth to a girl after having four boys."

"And then that girl grew up to be you and she's been marginally less pleased ever since." His face was animated, the clown-like smile slightly tilted as he nudged Cassandra's shoulder.

"I'm still learning how to laugh about it… but yeah."

"Oh." His ears drooped, and he began stumbling over his words. The haze was retreating more now as end of the day bustle began around them. "Fells, I'm sorry. I didn't mean- I don't want you to think… I'm sorry."

A quick nod was the only confirmation that she'd heard him. Then, with a speed that he couldn't quite believe, she rose.

Embarrassed but determined, Jerrie lurched forward to snatch Cassandra's paw. "Wait- lemme try to make it up to you."

"It's fine Jerrie. You're half wasted- I should go find one of your sisters or something…" But she lingered for a moment, and that was the only opportunity he needed.

"Ok, so, I'm going to tell you something that I wouldn't tell a normal person. But since you're not normal, I feel justified."

He cringed at the derisive snort that she made.

"And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Really. It was a compliment."

His paw tightened as she gave a half-hearted attempt to shake herself loose. "Wow, Jerrie. Just... wow."

"Will you give me a chance here? I'm trying to share a secret here Cass."

Pausing, Cassandra looked down at the calico tom with piercing blue eyes. "Fine. Then tell me, so I can go spend the rest of the evening in peace. Really how hard can it be?"

His response didn't help his cause. "That's what she said."

"She wasn't talking to you, Jerrie. Get on with it."

With uneven breathes, he forced the words. "I'm not good with the whole 'romantic declaration' thing, but I'm doing my best."

The Abyssinian queen froze, muscles rigid. "That's one joke too far."

"Really?! I know I'm a bit out of it- but this is hardly the worst state I've been in Cass! Fells, I've woken up in a sparkly pink costume meant for stuffed animals, with a little human girl talking to me, in a house that wasn't even mine!"

Letting go of her paw, Jerrie pulled himself to his feet. "I know you won't believe me at this point. But I do know what I'm saying. And I swear it's not a joke."

"Then why is this the first time you've said anything!?"

"You remember when we were seven years old? You didn't like talking to anyone, and you didn't listen much when someone talked to you. I kept trying. I told you day one how beautiful I thought you were, and if I recall I insisted I would dance with you at your coming-of-age. You laughed, and I was so afraid of being cut out that I didn't correct you. It was_ never_ a joke."

A pale blur rushed over as Jerrie swayed where he stood. Victoria smacked him lightly, stern voice unable to conceal her smile. "Mama's furious- she's been going on all day, telling Jellylorum that you're going to put her in an early grave."

Turning to lead her brother back to their den, Victoria noticed Cassandra, perfectly still in front of them.

"Hey Cassandra- I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Aren't you usually back at home by now?"

"I was on my way out, but I saw your brother wasn't quite with it. I figured I'd make sure he didn't go running towards the roads or anything. Looks like I can leave now though."

Victoria turned to Mungojerrie, her face the perfect picture of curiosity. "I didn't know you two were still friends."

"We have a love-hate relationship. I love her and she hates me."

Victoria's eyes were saucers, and she bit her lip, "Well, I'm sorry I interrupted. I guess- I'll just let you two catch up? See you at home Jerrie!" She dashed towards their den on her toes, and Cassandra could only imagine how fast this new revelation would travel around the Yard.

"Hate is a bit of a loaded term, don't you think?" Cassandra ran her paws up her arms, staring at the ground.

Sighing, Jerrie rubbed his eyes, finally ridding them of the last few smoky swirls. "What do you think I should say instead Cass?"

"I don't hate you Jerrie. I'm just… not capable of believing you right now. I've spent too much time listening to the people that think I'm cold, and aloof, or cruel. Still. Maybe you could remind me what you think of me. Force me to hear what you're saying… it might sink in if you say it enough. Anyone can change, can't they?"

The silence stretched, and she finally met his eyes. "That's the best I can offer you."

With a lopsided grin, and a dizzy feeling that was caused by an entirely different drug, Jerrie answered.

"Okay."

**A/N Good luck guessing… the next couple is "Shockwave"!**


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